House of Riots
by hard-rock-riter
Summary: While you read this humorous story about Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro please join us at one of our fantastic restaurants, and enjoy a virtual cookie! Read and Respond. Don't take too many cookies. Im not making any more chapters unless u review.
1. Chapter 1

House of Riots

Sadly I do not own the characters. But someday I will! I will own all own the characters! Except for the third and fourth hokages-they'll probably die by then…

Chapter 1: an ugly childhood

"Gaara get your sand off me! If it collides with water IT MIGHT MAKE MY SHIRT CHANGE COLORS!"

"Kankuro, as fat as you are, I can not control my sand," said Gaara.

But little did he know, that by typing a bunch of words on a computer saying Gaara's sand moved and posting it on he can…So can I!!!

"Gaara! Kankuro! My little pony is on," yelled Temari.

"Oooh goody," said Kankuro. As you could tell even though he is only eight I made him very mature. ;-  "Ooh look a smiley," he said

"Don't tell me…THEY CANCELED BOB THE BUILDER," screamed Gaara.

There was total silence. One second later Gaara yelled, "Sand coffin! Sand bawemasexcromothehomowhatthehellwhyisthisfreakingfoodinmymouth!"

Naruto had appeared out of nowhere and stuffed ramen in Gaara's mouth to save my little pony! Then he ran.

"Gaara you have to pay for the new T.V. again," said Kankuro. "Also just a question to the guy who's writing the this story why do people appear out of nowhere but they run away instead of just disappearing?"

"Just deal with it Kankuro and stop interrupting!" Anyway we are over with the 2-second to 5 hour commercial depending on how fast you read. So now back to the story.

"Why not Temari?" asked Gaara

"That's a great idea Gaara, Temari will pay for a change!"

"Can I pay the insurance bills this month, two?"

"No…If you pay them…I'll kill you," said Gaara.

And they all lived happily ever after. Well more like they all lived happily for a nanosecond.

"Go invent a time machine thingy," said Gaara.

"Okay already," retorted Kankuro.

So then they all went forward eight years so Kankuro is twelve, Temari is thirteen (good luck for you) and Gaara is twelve. _Not_

In the time machine:

Gaara: Move your fat but Temari!

Temari: Kankuro's the one who needs to loose weight! Besides, when's the last time he took a shower?

Kankuro: Gaara's a complete fatass and he has his Gourd to waste even more room.

End play story type script thingy ma-bobber.

The truth is that this was just some packed rocket. 3…2…1…BLAST OFF!

"Nice graphics," said Temari looking at the real stars.

"They're not mine."

"WHAT," Temari and Gaara both gasped.

"It's a real life rocket."

Suddenly the cork fell off Gaara's gourd

_Oh Crap. _

"Gaara you retard, you're sand will weigh more because the author feels like making that happen and then the rocket will fall to the ground and then it will explode and then we will all…"

"Slow down there Kankuro, but if you're right I'll give you a cookie."

Suddenly Temari gave Kankuro a cookie. "Oh my god you're right."

AN: I do not know where the hell this came from. Well of course I know that it came from my head but oh well…screw this lousy authors note but mark my words…bananas will rule the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

Useless disclaimer 2: I do not own myself, my parents do

Chapter 2 testing Temari's strength

Just to let you know they are all they're regular ages again.

Temari wants to test her strength. Suddenly, for the first time ever, she has an idea. She put her hand on a burner and it disintegrated. Ya, her idea wasn't very smart, I know. Wait a minute! That was a fake hand!

"At this rate I should be fighting babies," screamed Temari. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Kankuro answered it.

"Aren't you a cute little retard-?

Suddenly he walked away with a bruise on his face. "Temari, It's for you!"

"Would you like to test your strength against me," asked the baby.

"Ummm…(_Who the hell does that baby think he is?) _okay…I guess…sure.

"Follow me," said the baby. "Welcome to the sandbox! The most recognized battlefield in the world!"

"Can I call you baby-poop-sa-lot?"

"How about you call me TIF?

"What does that stand for?"

"Temari is fat"

"How about I call you dead meat?"

"Sure"

_Boy this baby sure knows how to get on peoples nerves. _"When are we going to test my strength?"

"Now" Dun dunn dunnnn. Suddenly an army of babies came out of nowhere and attacked Temari!

"Damn, I hate this author, he makes me look bad!"

The babies sure had a way with attacking. While one punched her in the eye another 5 swept her, another group shot machine guns at her...hey who wrote that?

Temari used one of her fans to blow them away as one bit her from behind.

"I guess I underestimated you babies" (who wouldn't especially if they know how to shoot machine guns)

"All hail Temari!"

"Huh?"

"Purr?"

"hail," asked a baby "She's nothing more than a big mouth, big but and big pile of bones!"

Temari suddenly lost her temper and attacked, using the fan as a blade.

"We can train you," said the baby, barely hurt by her attack.

"Na…I'd rather test my strength on that tree."

She swung her fan and cut the tree.

"You gave me a booboo," it said!

"You can talk?"

"If babies can, I wouldn't be so surprised. You are just insane. The talking is in your head." But the pain isn't. The pain is in a bowl of spaghetti'o'sezes!

"Not spaghetti'o'sezes!"

"Yes, spaghetti'o'sezes!" The tree charged at Temari and killed her.

Lucky for Temari, I made her a cat right before she died. The cat knew how to play the game too, s/he teleported to an all-you-can-eat buffet and ate it all and teleported back and farted in the tree's nose! (Since when did it have one?)

Temari went home and changed back.

"Cool new jitsu," she said.

_Hides her big but, _thought the _big mouth_ baby.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N in chapter 1 there was a grammar mistake but it won't make it through, some reason it was copied wrong.

Chapter 3

"So long, I'm going on a shopping spree," Gaara said in an unusually gay-like happy voice.

"Is it just me or did Gaara say 'shopping spree'," asked Kankuro.

"I wish it was just you," said Temari.

_And to think I thought my mind was going crazy yesterday…_

"Hello, Joe," Gaara said to his neighbor, "Nice day to go on a shopping spree eh?"

"Erm…no actually no, it's a terrible day to go on a shopping spree!"

"Then die! Sand coffee! Sand burrier!"

"No I hate getting buried in your damn sand coffee!"

"Then die again! Sand coffin! and whatever the hell he says!"

When Gaara was at the store he asked if they Barbie and the twelve dancing princesses…

"No we do not," said an employee.

"WHAT KIND OF CRUDDY STORE IS THIS PLACE?"

"We have Bratz babies, sir!"

"I hate this store! Sand coffin! Sand whatever the hell he says!"

_I've gotta get Barbie and the twelve dancing princesses no matter what! To Target!_

"Do you have Barbie and the twelve dancing princesses?"

"Just sold out, come back in a week."

"Listen punk, I want my Barbie and the twelve dancing princesses now!"

"Well sorry, punk, we don't give it to people with attitude! Try Christmas-if santa…

"I don't believe in that gangster named santa."

Sighs, "Well at least you're not going to destroy this place out of rage, right?"

"Wrong!"

"Gaara wait," yelled Itachi who poofed in front of him to stop him."

"Before you destroy this place and make me look ugly because I can't buy my hair growing and carb separating medications, you have to go through me!"

Dun dun dunanana! Dun dun dunananana! Nadododododonadododododo! "I Gaara, will kill you and prove that this store sucks!"

Then suddenly, Itachi took out a machine gun and killed Gaara. Who came back to life because I can't make the story without baka-Gaara.

"Oh my god! You have anger issues," said Gaara.

Itachi shot Gaara ten more times and was panting for breath.

_It sure is hard to pull a trigger. Man, I need a new brand of toilet paper!_

"If you excuse me, I'll be wherever the cartoon characters that feel like poofing out of nowhere go. I want to become something I already am! An Assassin! Of cartoon characters!"

"You're going down, spongeboob!"

"It's sponge bob! What's your name?"

"I'm an assassin."

"Hello I'm an assassin, I'm sure we'll be best friends just like squidward!

"Lets play dead!"

"Bahahahaha, I'm a sponge you can't kill me, bahahahahaha!"

"Uhg…ehh…oww!"

"I always carry my counterfeit drivers licenses in case someone doesn't want to be friends!"

"Ahhh, back to the Barbie and the twelve dancing princesses quest!"

And so he travels back to the store.

"Where can I find Barbie and the twelve dancing princesses?"

"We just sold a scroll on Ebay---Good luck getting it!"

"Since when did you have a scroll of where to find it?"

"I dunno I just feel like making it poof outa nowhere."

…

…

…

…

…

"To the over there," said Gaara

EBay

Barbie and the twelve dancing princesses; where to find it scroll

Starting bid 1$

Iwillkillyouall: $1.01

Oldhagofagranny: $1,000,000

Iwillkillyouall: $1,000,000.01

Oldhagofagranny: $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000K (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000K debt)

Iwillkillyouall: $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000K

($1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000K debt)

Igivemystuff2charity: $0.01

Current leader Igivemystuff2charity: $0.01

Iwillkillyouall: $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000K

($1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000K debt)

Iwonwit1cent: $0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001

Iwillkillyouall: $111.335564335758395652930218083723078570

(somehow he is in $234150137904523170984701230753290898059072 debt)

Iwillkillyouall wins!

………………………………………….Shipping and handling………………………………………………$999,999,999,999.99

OWNED!


End file.
